


A&A Convos: The Cruciatus Curse

by edwardbraelinvonhaus



Series: A&A Convos [1]
Category: VH - A Harry Potter Roleplay Site
Genre: Canon, Gen, VH25 (2028)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4479482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edwardbraelinvonhaus/pseuds/edwardbraelinvonhaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has a patient who reminds her so much of Aurora, so she seeks insight from her cousin on the effects of the cruciatus curse in a more personal perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A&A Convos: The Cruciatus Curse

“You’re lost in your thoughts again, Alex,” Aurora murmured, watching her cousin from over the rim of her steaming mug of tea. Across the island counter in the VonHaus kitchen, Alexandria Turlough , sat on one of the barstools, staring into her own mug that was untouched. 

 

Alex blinked away the distant stare and looked up. She shook her head, more to herself than in answer to her cousin, though did Aura even ask a question? “Just distracted,” she replied absently, and twisted her mug around on the counter surface, but made no move to take a sip. “Work.” Aurora nodded her understanding, because everyone became distracted with their work at some point, and the both of them were quite prone to it given the demands and stresses of their chosen careers. “Actually, I’m sort of working up the courage to ask you something, but, I’m not sure if I should.”

 

Aurora’s lips curved into an amused smile behind her mug and she took a sip, savored the liquid and generally bought them both some time to figure out what just happened there. If Alex was holding back, that meant there was a very good chance that Aurora wasn’t going to like this, and the small hairs at the back of her neck stood on end at the prospect. Whether she liked it or not,  now she needed to know. “Well, I think you just worked up your courage,” the healer said pointedly, because there was no way she was going to let Alex get away with leading her on like that and leaving her with nothing.

 

Alex distractedly played with the mug before her, nodding her head, understanding what Aurora meant. “You’ve… well, you’ve been under the cruciatus curse before…”  Several times went unsaid. Aurora stiffened at those words, proving to Alex that maybe she shouldn’t be asking. It was too late to take them back now, though. 

 

“What about it?” 

 

“I have a patient… and she reminds me so much of you, Squirt. She keeps everything bottled up, thinks that by not opening up she is protecting everyone around her.”

 

She closed her eyes to the guilt that was already beginning to well at those words. She knew Alex meant nothing by them, but it was just a reminder that she could be better, she could let people in and demolish the walls she had built up. “Well, that’s not the only reason, Alex.”

 

“No, I know. I get it. You do it to protect yourself, too.”

 

Aurora nodded her agreement, followed by a quick shake. “It’s bad enough that we have to remember such things, that our dreams will always be haunted--but to relive it on purpose and tell the story, we can control that. We can say ‘no, I don’t want to relive that right now.’ Every day is a struggle to come to terms and find peace for just long enough to get through the day. It’s worse sharing it with someone because it’s like exposing the weakest side of yourself.”

 

“I know,” Alex said thoughtfully, shaking her head slightly. She looked up at her cousin and saw the Aura she knew now: strong, fierce, independent, confident; but under all that, she saw the other version of her cousin: terrified, lonely, powerless, a victim. “I just want to help her find that peace and come to terms. And for the record, what happened to you… it doesn’t make you weak.”

 

The healer knew it was just better to keep her mouth shut at this point. Agree to disagree. Getting into an argument over what did or did not make her feel weak wasn’t one she was currently up for. She drank from the mug, finished the rest of the tea and placed her mug in the sink, which put a comfortable distance between her and her cousin. She turned and leaned against the counter next to the sink and crossed her arms expectantly. 

 

Alex recognized the move for what it was. It was a defensive pose. Aurora was fortifying herself for what was coming, and though it felt like she should let the matter drop, part of her was curious, and the other part knew that there was no letting it drop now. They were going to see this rocky conversation through to the end. 

 

“I’m assuming this has something to do with the cruciatus curse?” 

 

Alex nodded her head and pursed her lips still wondering if this was a good idea or if it was about to blow up in her face. “Yeah. She was cursed.”

 

Aurora clucked her tongue in consideration of her cousin for a second before she shook her head in defeat. She sighed.  Fuck. “What do you want to know?”

 

"Tell me about it?" It was the first time Alex had ever asked for it. Of course, she left the door open for Aura to talk about it in her own time, always there to be a shoulder to lean on--or cry on if that was the case. She knew the subject matter was difficult to broach, and she knew Aurora had trouble seeing past the fortified walls she had erected around her emotions. And yet, many years had passed since then, and she wondered if it would be any easier, or just as bad.  Time heals all wounds  didn't necessarily apply to everyone, but she had been witness to the strides Aura had taken to better herself and regain control of her life. 

 

Aurora looked down, steeling herself. It was easier when she wasn't looking directly at Alex. "Uhm," she cleared her throat, biding her time. "It's like nothing else. It's all encompassing and there is not a single part of you that doesn't feel it. It's like thousands of white-hot knives stabbing at you… You could have one of the most grotesque injuries out there, and the cruciatus curse will always trump it--"

 

"No, Aura," Alex cut her off, and the healer flicked her eyes up, wondering what else Alex wanted from her. "I don't want the textbook version. I have plenty of books on that in my library.”

 

“Then what do you want from me?” Aura asked, fixing Alex with a hard look. 

 

“Dig deeper.” 

 

Silence, and Aura looked down, gathering herself, uncertain. Her eyes slipped closed, and she allowed herself to drift back in her memories, the same ones she had learned to lock away over the years so they wouldn’t consume her every chance they had. “It’s like  nothing else,” she repeated, softer, more gentle, but laced with a twinge of remnant fear. “And it  is all encompassing…” She trailed her thoughts, bought herself moments. Alex waited, ever patient, on the edge of her stool, eager for  more , even though she had no right to ask for it. “... and the second that curse hits you, you become aware of just how powerless you really are against the people who are unreserved enough to use it.”

 

She could barely breathe as she recalled the memory so vividly, and she couldn’t believe it was all on purpose, too. She couldn’t believe she was allowing Alex to drudge up the past, but if it would help some other poor victim come to terms… Alex was clearly expecting more,  knew there was something more hidden away, and Aurora knew that this just crossed over from being about the patient to genuine curiosity, a desperate need to understand what she had gone through, and why she pulled away from her entire family to run away to Paris those years ago.

 

Aurora sighed heavily. “You’re vulnerable. Exposed. And you’re…”

 

Alex caught the hesitation. “You’re what?” she prompted gently, voice barely a whisper, barely able to cross the room, but it did. Aurora heard.

 

“ Begging, ” she shook her head, her eyes beginning to glisten with the raw emotions she was barely containing. “Begging for your life…” Aura looked away sharply, shakily exhaled. “... Begging for your death.”  I begged for my death, went unsaid, but Alex heard it loud and clear and looked down at the mug of tea in her hands. The liquid inside rippled as her hands shook. “You’re completely at someone else’s mercy. 

 

“When that Death Eater  sees you…  watches you… writhing on the ground like that… literally losing your mind... and derives  pleasure from it...” Aurora swallowed thickly, acutely recalling the agony she had felt all those times she had been unfortunate enough to be under the curse, “he owns you. He takes...  everything... from you.” Multicolored eyes lifted to meet hazel, and she saw Alex’s struggle there, too. “Your strength and confidence and competence… Your bravery turns into cowardice. You lose your sense of self… Everything you think you know about yourself is just  gone. ” 

 

She looked away again as a couple of tears fell, and the perspective of the story she was weaving changed. “And he took it  all from me, Quack. He took  everything from me.”

 

Somehow, it made it more real, the shift in perspective. Alex was on her feet, rounding the island counter and pulling Aurora in for a fierce hug. The younger witch buried her face in Alex’s shoulder as a sob escaped from her, uncontrolled. 

 

“... and every day, I wish it on the man who used it on me… He did this to me, changed me…” She had never been the sort of person who had room for hate in her heart until she crossed paths with the dark wizards. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No,” Alex shook her head vigorously. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn’t on you. It never was.”

 

Aurora wanted nothing more than to believe it. 

 

She couldn’t.

 

End.


End file.
